Homelessness. It really puts a deep sadness in my soul. When I walk by, or connect, or contribute… I just feel hopeless.
Today as I was on my walk and passed a few gents that were down on their luck (or whatever reason they found themselves homeless) and it really got me thinking. What is it about homelessness that rocks me inside?
I thought back to my time living in my car for a while. The lonely, hopeless, shameful feeling I went to sleep with and woke up with. I didn’t do it for very long. Maybe a month… and I had plenty of resources and places to shower up and get to work. I’m super resourceful, so I figured out how to get by, save up and get on my feet. For me, living that way was sort of a culmination of bad panning and unexpected lifestyle changes coming to a head.
Then I started thinking that I couldn’t even afford to give these guys any money today. I’m so strapped for cash with no real idea of when my next bump will come. Then I started thinking that maybe the hopeless feelings and the sadness in my soul might come from the fact that I literally have been on the edge of being in that position for years now. I get so close to completely running out of money. Down to literally dollars in my account. Sometimes negative in my account with dollars in my pocket. But I always make it work.
The thing that might differentiate me from the homeless men I met this morning may simply be that I am making these decisions actively. I have chosen my path and all that comes with that path, which at times means that I might be down to spare change and thats it.
The dividing line is a choice. For me at least.
I know there are tremendous amounts of reason for homelessness. Issues that have deep dark roots that we can only barely start to understand, source and repair. But if there is one thing I want to try and find a way to make an impact on, it’s homelessness. My issue is, I feel hopeless in a way to help.
My next venture will most likely have something to do with this. Until then, I’d love to hear yor ideas!